Imagine for a moment you are Donald Trump. You have just wrapped your morning phone call with Morning Schmoe and Mika, and, although their fawning and faked rapt attention are especially emotive this morning - due to their indignant appreciation of the shellacking you endured from Hillary Clinton the day before — you have, as you are wont to do, grown bored with their morning ministrations….after all Mika is only a 6... at best....
You need a shave... you have a morning meeting with Governor Nikki Haley who’s a 9 but has just linked you with Charleston Church Shooter Dylan Roof which kicks her back down to a 7...at least….
...but facing that medicine cabinet is the worst part of your day - so you pick up your phone and uncork a vicious tweet about Hillary and Haley soon sharing a cell at ClubFed.
There...that’s better.
But you are still not quite ready to begin your 45 minute morning ritual...
