Do you or someone you love have a problem with their d**k etiquette?
No probs, Samantha Bee’s got you covered.
“Fellas, I’m a big comedy star slash Hollywood executive, and I’ve found that it’s quite easy not to masturbate in front of my employees,” Bee says in her sketch. “In fact, it’s one of the easiest things I don’t do. Every day, I wake up, get dressed, take the subway to work, and then don’t masturbate in front of anyone.”
“Next time you get the urge to masturbate,” Bee continued Wednesday night, “just ask yourself, ‘Am I in front of an employee or a colleague?’ And if the answer is yes, don’t. Just don’t. And also, while I have you here, men, I’m sorry to break this to you, but your dick is ugly. No one wants to see your dick in any context. Even the straightest, horniest woman who loves you the most is hoping you can get it inside her without her having to look at it, so definitely don’t show it to strangers.”
“Don’t masturbate in front of people who haven’t specifically asked you to, and even then, stop and ask yourself, ‘What is our power dynamic? Is there a chance in hell that this person might only be agreeing to see my hideous dick out of fear for their career?’ If so, make a good business choice and keep your business in your pants. Good talk, guys.”
LOL below:
Got it, Samantha.
Thanks.